met gala crystal ball 🔮
Tomorrow is one of my favorite days of the year. It’s the first Monday in May, which means that the Met Gala is upon us. The Met Gala is the sartorial equivalent to watching Chopped from your couch and saying things like, “I don’t think that red wine reduction is going to work with the frozen meatloaf Craig is trying to pass off as filet mignon,” while eating peanut butter from the jar. I love it.
I know nothing about fashion, but I love judging fame-os on the one homework assignment they get in a year. Sue me! This year’s theme is Camp, which is probably the hardest one to pull off since I’ve been paying attention. How does one dress for a Camp theme? Camp is about aesthetics, but there’s no one way to do it and a million wrong ways to do it. Tricky! If I had to guess I’d say that lots of people will simply do ~*sparkles*~, which is not Camp unless you’re wearing vintage Bob Mackie.
Speaking of guessing! As I said, I don’t know anything about fashion but I do know a lot about celebrities. What I also know is that there will be three camps (no pun intended) tomorrow: People Who Nail It, People Who Don’t Try, and People Who Try And Fail. I’m now going to look into my crystal ball and guess who will fall where. (I’m using this tweet from a Frank Ocean stan account for the guest list lmao) Please refer back to this tomorrow and give me praise if I’m right and never mention it at all if I’m wrong.
People Who Will Nail It
Lady Gaga (would be embarrassing for a host to swing and miss, also Gaga IS camp) Harry Styles (see: the hosting note above) Anne Hathaway Tracee Ellis Ross Frank Ocean (obviously praying for a drag moment here) Janelle Monae Jennifer Lopez (she should wear the famous green Versace dress IMO!! I don’t know if that’s actually Camp but it would be such a Moment) Lupita Nyong’o Sarah Jessica Parker Billy Porter RuPaul Chadwick Boseman Blake Lively Jared Leto (SORRY) Zendaya (only because she shares a stylist with Celine Dion)
People Who Won’t Try
Kendall Jenner (when has she ever) Biebers, Justin and Hailey Emily Blunt Julianne Moore (feel bad about this one but I just have a feeling) Both Hadids A$AP Rocky Michael B Jordan Kerry Washington
People Who Will Try And Fail
Amy Adams (listen, I wish this weren’t the column I was putting her in but I’m just not convinced) Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas (they always do Ralph Lauren which I don’t think is conducive to Camp) Dakota Johnson Alicia Keys Katy Perry (a shame because she loves being campy but I don’t think she understands Camp. Like, the Witness World Wide experience was Camp. Teenage Dream was campy.) Mindy Kaling Gal Gadot
Some extra notes:
I saw someone say that Rihanna isn’t going but then I heard someone say that she IS and I just don’t know what to believe. Obviously if she shows up she will kill it.
I have a feeling that Beyoncé is going to come this year and she will also look amazing. She’d obv wear like, vintage Dapper Dan or something of that nature.
A problem with this theme is that Camp isn’t supposed to know it’s Camp, and so nailing the assignment and declaring “This outfit is Camp” kind of makes the whole thing null and void. But whatever, who cares. Again, this is a bunch of millionaires hanging out at The Met.
I think it would be really funny if someone like Kendall–who is usually criticized for “just wearing a prom dress”–to actually wear a prom dress. Full Jessica McLintock, bejeweled bodice mall chic.
See y’all on the TL tomorrow night!